Aint No Love Story Like Our Story
by Dark-Lady-Devinity
Summary: Jed has something to tell Octavius about why he gave himself up that night at the Smithsonian. It has to do with who he wanted to tell the general their evolving relationship story... but he can't find him. Spoilers for the second movie.


**Ain't No Love Story Like Our Story**

_Dark Lady Devinity_

**A/n: **To all those people that wanted another Night at the Museum fic; here you go. With work and my Hetalia projects, this will be the last one for a long time. Still, when I wrote Crash, the fandom was so small. But Crash is in my top three most successful stories... Thank you to everyone who has reviewed! All my love is for you.

**Ain't No Love Story Like Our Story**

It was hard to get away from the crowds milling about the museum. Larry's idea to make the night exhibit an "interactive exhibit" after his adventures in the Smithsonian was brilliant; but it made it hard to get some quiet one on one time with old friends. Thus, Jedediah's current issue with the world at large.

He hadn't seen Octavius since the night of the re-opening. They didn't take the model car out anymore because it was a safety hazard; a child might trip over the car or, worse yet, Rexy might step on someone while playing fetch. However, Jed really needed to talk to the little Roman general. Somehow, throughout their long lives as museum pieces, they had been tied together in everything. They had been enemies at first; Octavius was a leader in a culture that was very advanced and a leader to a people that were skilled warriors while Jed lived the air of "Manifest Destiny" and always felt the need to expand. Two dominant worlds collided and the mini men were at each other's throats, fighting for each other's blood, though they could not bleed. Then Lawrence Daley walked through the front door in search of a job and changed their lives. No other night guard had ever tried to get the two miniatures to get along. They just sort of gave up. Then the entire museum had to work together to save the tablet or face the cold reality that they would never be alive again. Octavius and Jedediah made a natural team.

And Jed's words now came back to haunt him; "I ain't quitting you."

He never realised that having to quit something likely meant that you were addicted.

That was the problem. He was addicted to that screw ball of a general. They had been best friends for years and being shipped to the Smithsonian would not have changed that for the world. But Jed never realised he was in love until it was almost too late. Oh, he had found Octavius to be a sexual being; the accent was orgasmic and that quirky smile was something else... then there were those _thighs_... but Jed had an excuse for all that. The accent was sexy because it was exotic and something Jed wasn't use to, the quirky smile was unique and a unique person wasn't a boring one. As for the thighs, well, that was not homosexual interest in the least. It was just that Jed had never seen so much leg before. Frontier men wore jeans and chaps while the women wore long skirts. Any hot blooded man would be bothered by those long, pale, _naked legs_. But Jed knew it was love when they escaped from the transport bin in the Smithsonian museum and were instantly surrounded by the black and white gangsters. The notion that Octavius might be captured had caused Jed's stomach to drop and his throat to dry out and nearly caused a panic attack. His proud and beautiful Octavius could not be captured and potentially destroyed by Kahmunrah. It was better to die himself then to see it happen. So he forced Octavius into running away and sealed his fate. But Larry and Octavius saved him.

He was going to make Octavius cry with the story of how their relationship had changed, fighting to say his dying words as the sand of the hourglass stole his breath away. He wanted to say, "There ain't no love story like our story."

But Octavius was as shy of brains as a terrapin is of feathers and completely annihilated the mood without even realising it. Well, at least it was nice to see him remove that ridiculous helmet and show off more of that lovely face, even if it was only for a few seconds.

"Godamnit, I wanted to tell that idiot I love him!" Jedediah yelled in his frustration. "So why can't I find him when I really need him!"

"Well, it's about time!" proclaimed an accented voice from above Jed's head. The cowboy refused to blush as he looked up at a copy of Venus de Milo. From somewhere behind Venny came the Easter Island Head's voice, "Dum-dum finally came to senses."

"Did ya'all know 'bout my feelings?" Jed asked suspiciously.

"Well, I am modeled after the goddess of love." Venny said. "But we've all heard about how you gallantly threw yourself into danger's way to save Octavius and failed to give any thought or concern to his feelings."

Jed blinked and thought about that for a moment. Then something clicked in his head and he cried out, "He's been avoiding me, hasn't he?"

"He is very mad at you." Venny admitted. "He thinks that you either failed to respect his ability as a warrior or that you did not think that he cared as deeply as you about your friendship."

"Where is he? I really should tell him why I did what I did." Jed said. "I was gonna tell him but he never let me!"

Venny shrugged. "He's somewhere in the African Mammal exhibit. It's pretty far and I can't carry you- no arms." She wiggled her shoulders to make her point.

Jed sighed in aggravation and then made the mad journey across the wild museum, trying to avoid being crushed, and keeping an eye out for a familiar red uniform. And ran smack into Octavius, who had hitched a ride back to his own exhibit with Ahkmenrah. Jed was flustered to find the other man so soon and was about to launch into another of his long winded rants that were filled with lingo that Octavius couldn't possibly understand; all in order to say I love you. Octavius was having none of it.

The Roman general grabbed Jed by the shirt collar and pulled him close to kiss him deeply. Then he angrily pushed Jed away and yelled, "I love you, you bloody pants wearing barbarian. So do not ever sacrifice yourself for me ever again or I will throw you into the coliseum to fight the lions."

Yep, Jed thought as he returned Octavius' kiss, there weren't ever a love story as crazy as theirs.

**End**

I don't think it's as good as Crash but I like Venny. Hope everyone enjoys this one.


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